My Biggest Fear…
My biggest fear has always been not to be liked, wanted or to fit in with others and feel a sense of belonging.
So what do you do? You go out of your way to be recognised, liked and part of the crowd around you. You show interest in others, do as they do, share your talents and fall in with the crowd, even if it goes against your own feelings and better judgement.
You may move from crowd to crowd, town to town, country to country, to see if they recognise or like you more. You change according to others, in order to stay popular and be with the in-crowd.
But all you feel is more lost, unloved and alone and find yourself lying awake at night worrying what you’ve done wrong and what you need to do to belong and be as happy as the rest seem to be!
What our Human Experience is About…
Society has taught us to stick together, to care for another and find a general way to make everyone happy.
What our parents, teachers and leaders forgot to mention however, were the things that would make all the difference for a happy life. But then again isn’t our Human experience about discovering and remembering Who You Are?
To remember you are Unique, Sovereign and Magnificent?
All my Human experience has served me well as it’s brought me to discover how I don’t like to feel and what I don’t want to experience. This has all lead me to ponder my feelings alone at times. Feeling into the emptiness, the darkness. Crying deeply, diving into the fear, asking for help.
It was only in this depth of silent space, did I begin to feel an inner warmth, a loving presence that made me feel peaceful, loved and joyful. The more I came here, the more I was inspired to know all the answers to my many questions.
I began to understand that deep within me was a powerful force of love, of Consciousness, of God, of Divine Spirit that is not separate from me, is not separate from all life and is what connects everyone and everything together and guides everyone… if you are willing to slow down, be alone at times, tune in, feel and listen.
The Important of Paying Attention To How You Feel…
When you pay attention to how you feel rather than how everyone else feels, you allow yourself to tune into your own inner power and guidance. Which in turn allows you to remember and know when you are following your unique and sovereign path or not!
You remember, feeling good and well is your Divine guidance telling you, you are aligned with your Divine Spirit who guides you in receiving more wellness, happiness and abundance.
On the other hand, feeling bad and unwell, is your Divine guidance telling you, you are more aligned with others than yourself, which will sooner rather than later, burn out your body and mind!
IAM grateful for everything I have experienced and remembered, especially how important it is to pay attention to self. It is because of this I can look back at a full and beautiful life with my family and friends who genuinely love and care for each other. It spurs me on to overcome any Human trials, guiding me further on my Divine path, being Sovereign, unique and standing out shining my light being the change that changes the world.
My family, friends and I know that when we each serve self first, being the change and shining our light, this serves another and brings and keeps us together. We are creating new communities as I write. Our differences no longer matter, in fact we honour our uniqueness and celebrate together our freedom to live our life in all peace, love and joy.
I resonated with the following words written by Brianna Wiest this morning on social media, which actually inspired me to write this blog post. I love how we keep inspiring each other with our loving words for self.
Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want change.
Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.
When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place.
This doesn’t mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren’t ready to accompany you.
If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don’t do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.
That’s what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are.
The more time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection to someone else.
There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet with you at your level of interest and commitment.
The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you stay away from the community you want.
Maybe if you stop showing up, you won’t be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it. This is not love, it’s attachment. It’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t deserve it. You deserve so much, there are people who should not be in your life.
The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence.
When you realise this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be around you, your energy is stolen.
You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and for everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′compatible′′ people are allowed.
You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It’s not your work to exist for people and give your life to them! If you feel bad, if you feel compelled, you will be the root of all your problems, fearing that they will not return the favours you have granted. It’s your only obligation to realize that you are the love of your destiny and accept the love you deserve.
Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment, true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything begins to change. Don’t waste time with people who are not worth it.
Change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.
©Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & Master Creator
Inspiring New Energy Consciousness & Multi-Dimensional Living
A True Magical Children’s Story about Love and Life. To inspire our children to connect deeply with themselves and the natural world around them and remember the truth of their being ‘Sparkles of Love’, here to bring love and harmony into the world, quite simply by being them self and enjoying their life in each moment.
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I share my own magical journey, exploring Who I AM with the help of nine Elemental Beings and expand from a world of fear, struggle and limitation into a New Energy Consciousness of love, grace and freedom. It is in this loving space that I discover my Divine and ALL LOVING self and allow myself to integrate together as one Body Consciousness… a DivineHumanBeing… and Magnificent Master Creator who expresses and creates heart and soul passion on the physical plane and beyond..
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Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.
I’m sure many people can relate to your feelings and words, Barbara. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post.
Such lovely words, Thankyou for your beautiful presence here❤️ much love x
You are so right: we need to “…pay attention to how you feel rather than how everyone else feels…” That doesn’t mean you ignore others’ feelings. It just means you don’t let them rule your life! Staying tuned in to your own self-worth and treating others as you wish to be treated … for me that’s part of the key to happiness.
Hello Jan, Thankyou for sharing your spiritual wisdom! You know very well caring for and loving ourself, automatically embraces another! It’s as if we generate compassion and it expands to include everyone around us! Hope you are well, I’ll be back to read your adventures now I’m back home in spain❤️ sending love x
Joseph❤️ you are a spirit gift🙏
That is the core issue of our journey dear Barbara, to find our worth. But like all else, to understand something we must first feel and experience its opposite. We cannot know and appreciate happiness unless we experience and feel sadness to…and on through those many emotions in our lives. And by experiencing it all we slowly realize that self worth, understand what we are attracted to and slowly ‘become it’. In all these many ‘conditions’ of fear in this journey it is all guiding us inward to finally realize who and what we are, that love that is waiting inside until we reach that place within. And in finding it we will finally understand ‘unconditional love’ by letting go those conditions we ever had and without them finally touch that love and happiness we have ever looked for ‘out there’ has been gently waiting inside us to meet it there. And once that is done, we naturally give out that unconditional love…freely, openly…and if another is not ready they will move away, as we will, simply because we accept where they are at. We cannot expect anything from another, or even ourselves, or otherwise we are still applying those ‘conditions’ in our life still to be understood. This lifetime is guiding us ever inward to see something wonderful, and it doesn’t matter what steps we take it will always ask our hearts ‘where are we now?’. And each time we will ‘feel’ that lack, or rising of that love…in among the blocks of fear that we hold. Understand those blocks and we will naturally let them go. All else in life, once we understand something, we let them go…and relax into that understanding. Yes, our fears are difficult to understand, but only because they are hidden deeply as children because of their pain, covered so that those tears of rejection in whatever form that it takes, can never escape. But it is ‘because’ of those conditions we place on ourselves that in enduring such pain and hurt that we will appreciate oh so much more the understanding when it arrives, appreciate so much more the answer when it comes. And it will, and all that I ask (and me too), would never change a thing of what we have been through, simply because we now understand that our very journey is the making of that realization within us. It will all make such sense in its understanding…and set us free and place our feet on new ground, letting go all those expectations of our fears, of us or others, and begin to truly create rather than react to this world. And something also within we will also begin to create…a smile, but this time not balanced by so many things that weighed our hearts and we automatically project, but one freely given. It will feel ‘odd’ in the beginning, simply because we have never been here before. A simple thing, but when we feel the truth of what it means, a beauty gladly received 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
IAM back home now and can attend to my friends again😀 It was lovely, just what I needed to hug up my family in UK. Thankyou Mark for your ever inspiring words of loving wisdom and support❤️ We are given infinite opportunities to weave into the depths of ourself… to experience the infinite depth and new heights of experiencing balance and wellbeing! Infinite! It keeps going on and on and feel there is no end to experiencing our true potential❤️ Quite exciting🥰 Sending love down under… or are you ever above😂🥰
Hello dear Barbara, thank you so much for sharing Brianna’s very powerful words and your own words that deeply resonated with me. A beautiful and thought provoking post. 💜🙏
Thankyou Miriam for resonating with this post… as we are all being called to let go of everything that no longer serves our journey into NewEarth… at least in the form we have now. It can feel lonely at times, but it’s always to remember we are all connected, powerful and magnificent🕺💃🏻❤️ Sending love and now I’m back in Spain I’ll catch up on your beautiful journey😘
Much love back to you dear Barbara as you settle back into Spain 💗
I love and appreciate the vulnerability you expressed here, Barbara.
More recently, I’m beginning to sense that love is the way, and perhaps the source of all. It’s the attractor that calls everything into being, and so, into relationship.
A lot has changed in my life over the past few years. There’s been pain, loss, thousands of tears, but necessary tears for shedding, for seeing anew.
Relationships are hard. Friends do come and go, same as family. I do ask myself: can I let go and still love, forgiving all of us for being who and where we are right now? It’s a work in progress, but I sense that the more I can let go and still love, the more freedom I feel from any sense of woundedness. Life, mine and yours, remains terribly mysterious, and continues to amaze me for its unfathomable depths and grace.
I hope you are doing well!
Debra so nice to have you here, indulging in my musings❤️ Life sure is calling us all to feel deep within and detach from everything! Those close relationships are the worst to detach from as you know. Yes, letting go and still loving! I can relate. It’s so so important. I’m still feeling the great split of my husbands transition suddenly in January, my worst nightmare! But the more I accept it had to be, for both our Divine sakes, moving on etc… I can fall deeper in love with myself, my mission and feel more connected to consciousness (which Tom is always part of). Of course the Human cry’s and feels the loss… it’s a roller coaster ride but becoming gentler! Thank goodness for my spiritual wisdom as it’s so easy to slip into the downward cycle of depression and victim Hood! Thankyou for sharing your wisdom, I’m managing quite well thanks and I’m sending love to you❤️
Oh, so needed this post. Thank you! At a time when the Universe seems to be showing me the old is falling away but not yet showing me the new. That’s always a tough place. But I’m holding the new and lovely in my heart until it shows up in my world:).
Yes Candid, holding your vision of your future presence will certainly draw it in when the time is right… and for this we must trust ourself that this is so and in the meantime take small steps as we feel drawn to make! It’s more than having patience, it’s allowing yourself to get excited about what you’re bringing in to experience and stepping into it gently, happily and in a way deliberate❤️ I feel like we must detach from everything and come back to totally relying on our ourself. Tough at times cause most of us have baggage of not being good enough! So lovely to have you here for a visit Kristine… I’ll be over again now I’m back home in Spain for another coffee with you😘 Sending love❤️
Oh. Coffee in Spain and good conversation sounds just lovely. Even if it must be virtual for now🙂
Coffee is served🥰
Always everywhere dear lady, you guys give me all the stories of the world on here. Glad you got to be with family and touch base with that core of that love while you are going through this time. It is a big change, and eventually your love will wrap you in its unconditional to be with all. Big hugs dear lady, and a little love from down under 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Beautiful thoughts as always dearest Barbara.. We are indeed all of us unique, and each no matter how different our paths, views of perceptions are helping each other to grasp our very own slice of reality as we navigate these times of changes within this time frame of our existence.
Our trials and tribulations each adding to our experiences that strengthens us in becoming who we are meant to become .
No road is ever smooth… and each detour, along our path, is never without its reasons. And sometimes those detours show us things about ourselves we would never have seen otherwise..
So all is perfect, all is timed.. Included our fears and trepidations as we learn to master and overcome..
Wonderful post full of wisdom as usual dear friend..
Sending LOVE and so happy you were able to return here to the UK to reunite with family and friends ..
Much love dear Barbara.. <3
So grateful to read your loving wise words Sue… no, this journey is certainly not easy but once we understand it’s all about ourself returning to feel the love we truly are, we seem to muster up the strength to march on brightly… no matter what and deal with it most gracefully. Thankyou for walking with us all on this journey, it makes all the difference to know we are many. Much Love, Barbara x
My privilege, dearest Barbara in walking beside you my friend.
Much love ❤ 😍 💖