Looking back, I now realise why so many of my posts on my old blog at WordPress didn’t want to migrate over to my new blog here. It was important for me to update and repost them as new in some future time. So finally clarity came and I can say for sure… there is always a reason for every happening… whether we like it or not.
Instead of fighting a situation, another or yourself, you can accept, forgive and move on, trusting you will understand why this experience happened at some stage on your beautiful journey.
This post was originally inspired by my dear friend Leigh back in 2014, when she challenged her friends to write about Forgiveness. You can visit her site and find links to other posts on Forgiveness.
So a big thank you to Leigh and all my divine sisters and brothers here on wordpress, who never stop inspiring me to expand my consciousness through your presence.
Truly Forgiving Self
From a young age I knew that some things that happened to me and others, weren’t right or didn’t feel good, but I moved on none the less… living my life the best I could. Feeling numb and robotic.
It wasn’t until my early 30’s, spending 5 years in a ‘Self Discovery’ class with a great Dutch teacher that I learned to sense the passionate and sensual being hidden deep within myself that slowly and surely melted away my numbness and robotic tendencies… and revealed truths.
I spent much time looking energetically at my ancestral family, the good and bad points carried down and the actions of abuse and disease that continued to prevail in my large family. My family seemed to either copy another or do the opposite in rebellion. Either way, patterns grew stronger down the line. It seemed everyone was hypnotised, abuse and disease of the body, mind and spirit seemed quite natural!
Thank goodness I began to see the bigger picture of how mass consciousness was conditioned and realised it wasn’t just happening in my family but in all families. We were all living the lives of our ancestors… great great grandma’s, great uncle’s, granddad’s, mother’s… etc.
It was a huge ah ah moment when I realised why I’d grown up feeling numb and robotic… At some point in my childhood, I had shut my true self down, to be able to experience Human life in all its glory. Yes… based on the beliefs and conditioning of my ancestors… that made me feel numb and robotic… but it did have a purpose… for me to discover my true wholeness hidden deep within.
Choosing to Disconnect
From this moment I chose to disconnect from my ancestral ties and live according to how I felt and how I desired to live… self-sustained and in soul charge of my body, mind and spirit. Creating my life and destiny in each moment… even down to a couple of design points that I will sculpt into perfection when the time allows.
I began to appreciate the unique and magnificent person I and everyone truly is. I began to understand all my teachings and experiences in life, from my parents (early on) and myself later were for me to experience Human love and had made me who IAM today. For better or worse, the wisdom of all my roles had all been distilled and are the essence of me today.
I could accept and forgive everything because I knew it was all experience and not who IAM. The nitty gritty details of my past life is unimportant and the slate wiped clean. This allowed me to detach and move on living a most sensual and passionate life as my magnificent self.
What we’ve been taught FORGIVENESS is…
Looking back I’ve always felt a weariness about the church, religion and especially the word FORGIVENESS but since reading a religious book on forgiveness and reading the thesaurus synonyms and antonyms, I can understand why I felt this way.
Synonyms of forgiveness … Absolution, Amnesty, Clemancy, Compassion, Charity, Grace, Mercy, Remission, Reprieve, Vindication, Acquittal, Immunity
Antonyms of forgiveness… Cruelty, blame, meanness, accusation, censure, charge, punishment, sentence
The church, religion continues to use the word forgiveness to keep humankind (including me) playing the duality game of you are bad and i am good. Its all part of the Human game of power and control, keeping us separate, disempowered, limited and weary.
There are only two words I resonate with… compassion and grace which we can each embrace as we walk the Earth in a clear knowingness of who we are… sovereign, compassionate and graceful beings, honouring all life.
Coincidence doesn’t exist non?
Adamus, from the crimson circle shared with Shambra his observations on FORGIVENESS. They truly resonated with how I felt… his words were spoken at the most perfect moment to confirm my own feelings on forgiving myself in a most humorous way. Below is a summary of how to truly forgive yourself… according to Adamus… and Barbara.
In order to be truly free, it is important to forgive yourself, but not in the old way of saying you’re sorry, making yourself suffer or carrying the baggage of karma around and staying in the human game of duality.
True forgiveness is saying that wasn’t me, that was an old programmed and hypnotised me experiencing Human expression. IAM the IAM presence. Me, My Magnificent Self, that is responsible, compassionate and honours self and everyone else.
Adamus’s four S’s… to help forgive/have compassion for your true self…
To forgive myself for my separation… I believed I was lost and alone, but I know now I only chose another path for a while and have now discovered all of me.
To forgive myself for my sin… destiny… karma… I believed I was a sinner and I believed in destiny and karma, but I know now it is not true. I know now that bad things feel bad and therefore I don’t do bad things anymore.
To forgive myself for my selfishness… I believed others when they told me it was bad to be selfish and to only focus on myself. But I now take bad out of selfish and allow it to be joyous… I know now that it is good to be self focused, loving, abundant and self sufficient. I allow myself to be a new standard to be truly myself, radiating my IAM presence, allowing my light to shine without the overlays of the good and the bad. To be self-full, self aware and release all the old negative energy.
To forgive myself for being stupid… I married the wrong man, said the wrong thing, shouldn’t of done that… stupid stupid stupid… but that was just how I chose to experience myself, it was all part of my Human expression not my IAM presence. It’s not about being smart, earning merits from others or perfecting the Human being. I know the Human could never figure it all out and all the teachings about becoming better, wiser… are all nonsense. As the IAM presence I can appoint myself as enlightened master and release all my stupidity. And so it is.
Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & MasterCreator
Inspiring New Energy Consciousness & Multi-Dimensional Living