What AM I doing wrong…
Have you ever wondered what you’ve done wrong? It has been a big part of my life up until I realised that I didn’t have to wonder anymore but realise the truth. I remember very well how it made me feel. Why don’t you close your eyes, relax and ask yourself now… What AM I doing wrong? and feel how your body/mind responds.
My body/mind goes all tense, its like I remember how it used to feel when I was being told off as a small child and put in my place. My breathe pauses, mind freezes, muscles tighten, blood, lymph and oxygen stop flowing, nerve pulses stop in mid air and penetrate my skin. My body and mind stop growing and I put myself in protection mode.
The only thing that stops me now from becoming absorbed in this incredible feeling of fear (and the consequences), is my recognition of a part of me that remains calm, stable and all loving, in the background. My consciousness… My IAM presence that embraces me, never muttering a word or judgement, only loving me unconditionally and showering me with Divine love. As she integrates with me… fuses herself together with my Human sacred body, my ego identity and all my aspects that continue to come home after a long long exile.
Her pure crystalline light is absorbing all my density… bringing in new codes that reprogram and update my DNA and dissolve all imprints of old patterns and programmes that have made me feel worthless, inferior, bad, dirty, deficient, shameful, meaningless, pointless, mindless and stupid… but are no longer of service to me as IAM allowing myself to evolve.
AND I understand, the words of my parents, teachers and friends whilst growing up… they were all they knew…. You must excel to get anywhere, become the best, learn well, work hard, do as your told, fit in, be good and quiet… and part of my Human experience to help me figure out how to love and nurture myself.
AND the people who continue to point the finger, blame, call and attack… me or others, remain caught up in their own story of survival, nothing to do with anyone else… so it cannot hurt another… unless the person chooses to be drawn into another’s story and be distracted from living their own life of celebration.
It is only because I have made it my priority to love myself… to care and get to know myself, All of myself over the last 30 years did I become aware of a loving presence that IAM and who has taught me… there is nothing I could ever do/be wrong because there is no judgement. No matter my imperfection, perfection, weakness and strength… in everything and whatever IAM… IAM loved unconditionally.
All my painful and distressing circumstances don’t come from something I have done wrong, but from a belief in something about myself and life that isn’t true.
All my Human experience, the joy and pain has allowed me to discern for myself what feels right and good for me and another, to gain Human love and wisdom and realise the truth of who IAM and allow myself to evolve consciously and embody the new DivineHuman Being… the Sovereign Master IAM… who lives a life of celebration on the physical plane.
It has taken me lifetimes of experience, playing the different roles… murderer, abuser, poor man, victim, controller, gentleman and lady… etc… etc… to learn the importance of…
*Reverence and honouring every story and journey of every living thing
*Being open to receive Divine love
*Being transparent in everything IAM
*Loving and trusting All of Self (darkness and light)
*Understanding lack does not exist and fear/evil is an energy created to make people belief they are powerless
*Understanding it’s finally time for my Human self to surrender to the Divine part of me that is responsible for leading me forward on a new exciting adventure beyond everything known.
At one point my life was based on a foundation of fear, dishonour and incompleteness, but thankfully, I listened and remembered… my natural state of being is love, purity and completeness.
Take a look at what your life is based on… and know that living on a foundation of fear, judgement and about what others think… will not allow you to live a life of celebration, in fact, your divinity will rock you… until you either wake up to realise the truth and choose to love yourself… or your body/mind will give up in some way, as it can only take so much abuse and unkindness.
I’ve been writing my blog here on WordPress for the last 5 years, sharing my Human and Divine experience… inspiring hearts to awaken and realise their own truth. Today IAM here to tell you, you are not doing anything wrong AND if you don’t like what you’re experiencing take some quiet me-time to get to know yourself, love All of yourself, no matter what, open up to the more in life and receive the light you are.
Enjoy this poem that I wrote in a time of feeling being pulled into the game at the end of 2016.
Enveloped in a flow of darkness…
Feeling used, abused and tossed away
Bullied, torn and worn
What is LIFE all about?
‘Cause I thought I was doing my best
AND following ALL the rules…
I stand tall, express well?
Enjoy the life I perceive
The miracle and magic intertwined
Throughout All creation
Connecting everything together…
Yet the cold winds continue to whirl around me
People acting out and pointing fingers
AM I not wanted and rejected?
Shall I close my heart and react?
Or shall I follow an inner knowing…
A passion within that steers me to BREATHE
Consciously in everything IAM
To trust and allow myself to follow
The goodness of my own heart and soul
Feeling safe in the magnificent world around…
Where did I go wrong?
What did I misunderstand?
All I wanted was to feel love and joy
Be with others, have fun
Dancing, playing and singing together…
YES, I can be direct and serious?
Aren’t I just being open, honest
AND honouring my own feelings
Isn’t that how IAM meant to be?
Surely others feel my compassionate heart…
Only NOW, many years gone by
Do I realise the game I continue to play
A big distraction, to keep me away
From the POWER within, my natural state of being
An abundant flow of LOVE and JOY..
If IAM lucky, I will pick up a book
Bump into a person who inspires me
Be AWARE of my individual truth
AND rise above my dense physical reality
To a space where I perceive NEW potential…
I know now everyone plays the best roles we can
There is no fault, no blame, no judgement
It’s about experiencing, discovering what we love and desire
AND realising IAM Magnificent, infinitely powerful
Because IAM a reflection of YOU.
Enjoy reading some of my blog posts of my experiencing both the darkness and the light.
Are YOU Choosing Love or Fear?
Allowing Compassion to change society taboes.
How to accept myself for Who IAM.
How the Energy of 2017 can Serve us all.
Will the Integration ever end?
Its Time to Own Your Magnificent Self
Are you Ready for true Freedom?
What AM I choosing to experience?
2016… My Experience Awakening, Integrating and Choosing to live a life of celebration.
Are you interested in participating in my next Writing Challenge…
Before I finish this post… I have a new writing challenge for all my friends here… who may also feel strong about the race that has been declared between Artificial Intelligence & Consciousness… as the way to perfect the Human Being. I wrote this post Humankind is evolving SuperQuantum… a while back when I first became aware of A.I.
Wouldn’t it be great to do a little research (about A.I. outside and inside with consciousness) and write about why we each feel it is important for hearts to awaken to the truth of what consciousness is and how nothing can compete if we desire to live in a peaceful, joyful and loving world.
Please let me know your interest and lets see when we can begin, December or next year. I’ll share again every other week your writing on this very important topic and Who you Are too, books, blogs etc… All with the intention of opening hearts and souls to claim their own magnificence.
Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & MasterCreator
Inspiring New Energy Consciousness
A paperback and Digital Book is available from all Major online stores… Amazon and Apple
I share my own magical journey, exploring Who I AM with the help of nine Elemental Beings and expand from a world of fear, struggle and limitation into a New Energy Consciousness of love, grace and freedom. It is in this loving space that I discover my Divine and ALL LOVING self and allow myself to integrate together as one Body Consciousness… a DivineHumanBeing… and Magnificent Master Creator who expresses and creates heart and soul passion on the physical plane and beyond.
Are you READY to dive deep within yourself and prepare for your new role as Master & Creator? As Earth & Humankind find themselves amidst great change and transformation… my MasterCreator Class guides you into unknown territory for you to create a life of freedom, compassion and celebration.
More Info: MasterCreator Class
All the money raised from my books and classes goes to my non-profit Business The Magnificent Consciousness to help inspire others through creative expression to explore, discover and express the magnificent Consciousness each person truly is and their unique space in the heart of life.
Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.
Well written perfect being 😀
Many lamp posts have lit your journey Barbara to ‘see’ that perfection, as you then become a lamp post to others <3
Thank you for sharing your light <3
Spending most of your life under the spell of ‘what others think’ opens you up to the complete vulnerable Human… AND if you persist in your discovery of What AM I doing wrong… you will relax into the knowingness of yourself and allow vulnibility to take on a new meaning. Thanks for joining me in seeing the perfection in all the imperfection. Much Love Barbara…
Barbara, this was a very well written post, with excellent points.. So true all of it.. And we become so conditioned via the strings of our upbringing, and what we are told.. And how we perceive our value.
We both have come to a better understanding of what I AM is, and how to love ourselves more deeply. Putting ourselves first for a change and learning to listen within..
AI is a subject that is fast developing and we probably are only informed of the tip of the iceberg.
And while it is ok to play around with fire, that initially we think will keep us all warm.. in the wrong hands it can be used as weapon and like fire, it can burn down the neighbourhood..
I wish I had more focus on writing right now, I may do, but I am making no promises right now, as I am making more commitment to spending more of that ME time with Me and Hubby 🙂
You are spot on with our evolving and changing.. And I so feel the shift in energy right now do you? , silly question, of course you do..
Any way Barbara… Loved this post.. It so spoke of all I know to be true..
Love and Blessings
Sue xxx <3
Awesome post, Barbara. Loved the poem too. I feel we have connected before in some other space in time, especially after I saw your picture. Perhaps earlier in my blogging of My Awakening Life. Shine on Sis-Star.
Thanks Sis-Star for resonating with my words… Yes I believe we have known each other before in many ways and are now helping to shine our light even wider in the world. Much love to you x Barbara