In a Moment of Solitude I Release my Shame and Guilt…

I wrote this post back in May 2014 as we moved into our new home in Benalmadena and was completing my first book Your Magnificent Self… A Journey to Freedom. Life is not always about the positive and light… it is about feeling the parts of us that haven’t been so nice to experience in the past and need to be given a place. I hope it helps others to embrace their own darkness. Meanwhile we hope the wind blows again soon and leads us to our new home. We are open and ready to receive a new beginning.

The sky is bright blue, waves gently lapping onto the seashore, the sea glistening crystalline under the rays of the sun and the birds chirp with joy as they sway in the palm trees… Tom and I are settling into our new home, observing and feeling into this new space and surrounding environment. We are excited to be able to relax in a most magical place and allow new inspiration and potential to give birth to a wonderful new adventure and new creations…

The clouds flow by, some dark with moisture to dampen the atmosphere, scattering natural juice on the gardens and clearing the dust… The waves are becoming more visual with frothy white edges and splash up against the rocks, the wind begins to howl, rustling the palms… the birds long gone except for the seagulls flying high, waiting patiently for fresh fish that the sea brings in, together with a wonderful aroma and display of seaweed… a distinct smell of the sea.. Rich gifts from the depths of the ocean…

As I witness the presence of nature’s natural order, the simple and elegant ebb and flow of our natural beautiful world… the highs and lows, the light and darkness, the acceptance of life’s graceful movement… I connect to the freedom that lies beyond the mind and our physical reality and am inspired to create my third painting in my ‘Elemental’ collection and write my last chapter and conclusion of my first book… Your Magnificent Self… A Journey to Freedom.

These last few weeks of solitude, being without tv and internet to disturb, have allowed me to ponder the gifts of being human… the sensual awareness and natural love that is possible to feel here on Earth and has only come about because we have experienced so much darkness as well as the light…

The storm that had blown in seemed to want to uncover some dark aspects of my past experience, that were obviously ready to be recognised and released.  I felt an urge to understand what shame and guilt actually meant… my shame and guilt that I had long ago covered up… not the details of specific memories… but the true meaning… Articles caught my attention and I read with interest, making notes, as follows…

Both shame and guilt are rooted in what ‘we as a society’ think is moral… of what is right and wrong and the judgement that we give ourself or hear from another about our action or non action. We may have compared ourself to another, causing ourself to feel unworthly or not good enough, which leads to our feeling guilty, even ashamed of our very being and our way of doing things. We may also have take responsibility for events or another’s behavior that were beyond our control. Others may have blamed us for doing or being something that they thought was wrong and against ‘the standard’…

Society never taught me that I was a magnificent part of the natural world of ease and grace and that it was quite natural to love all parts of myself, to be kind and care for all of myself… In fact I was taught that it was selfish to put myself before others. I was taught to listen and adhere to the advice and experience of others and find out where I could fit in.   I was taught that the mind was the ‘all intelligent power’ and if I studied hard enough from books and professors I could become my very best.  I was taught to be nice and polite and hide all my imperfections and bad thoughts… because they didn’t serve me.

After years of ‘self discovery’ I not only know how important it is to love myself, being kind and to care for myself, but to totally accept myself for better or worse… for my perfections and imperfections… no matter what.  How wonderful it would be if everyone honoured each other… allowing each other to freely experience life for self, without interference, without judgement… All I can do is be a conscious example…

My past experience of shame and guilt felt heavy, a long and hard road and enough was enough… The psoriasis and eczema that erupted from time to time on my skin was proof that a longing of forgiveness and release of the ‘old drama’ was way overdue.

I knew that my roles of victimhood had served me well and were part of my experience of the light and dark that had helped me to come into my now awareness… but now it was time to be responsible and move on, to ascend to my enlightenment and role as NEW ENERGY MASTER, a souled being… a DivineHumanBeing.  Living simply and elegantly, with ease and grace in the natural world of beauty, sensual awareness and total conscious freedom.  Accepting my magnificence and sovereignty, trusting and valuing myself implicitly, just as IAM, for better or worse.

It was time to make peace with my past shame and guilt and release my need to be involved in drama, victimhood and thoughts of how everything should be… I embraced the dark feelings with the compassion that IAM now… and a funny thing happened… I saw the shame and guilt memories defragmenting before my eyes and knew they were no more. They had transformed to new potential that I could bring in and be able to create something wonderfully new with…

I feel a little lighter now and continue to live a powerless life, with no concerns about outcomes as I know that there is no cause or being ‘out there’ grander than IAM…  IAM the cause and reason for my being… because I EXIST…

Whenever I feel unsure or feel a doubt creeping in… I bring my consciousness into the picture, am aware of what IAM doing… and remember I EXIST… YES IAM that IAM… and if necessary I FAKE IT for a while…

Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & MasterCreator
Inspiring New Energy Consciousness
www.memymagnificentself.com

A paperback and Digital Book is available from all Major online stores… Amazon and Apple

I share my own magical journey, exploring Who I AM with the help of nine Elemental Beings and expand from a world of fear, struggle and limitation into a New Energy Consciousness of love, grace and freedom. It is in this loving space that I discover my Divine and ALL LOVING self and allow myself to integrate together as one Body Consciousness… a DivineHumanBeing… and Magnificent Master Creator who expresses and creates heart and soul passion on the physical plane and beyond.

 

 

Are you READY to dive deep within yourself and prepare for your new role as Master & Creator? As Earth & Humankind find themselves amidst great change and transformation… my MasterCreator Class guides you into unknown territory for you to create a life of freedom, compassion and celebration.

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All the money raised from my books and classes goes to my non-profit Business The Magnificent Consciousness to help inspire others through creative expression to explore, discover and express the magnificent Consciousness each person truly is and their unique space in the heart of life.